Interview with Luna

Luna is who I really am, Luna is daughter of the Goddess, artist, visionary. Maripat is who most of the world has come to know, or decided who they want me to be.

Any number of ways - I've always felt like that...we were the only Irish Catholic family in a German Lutheran community.

I was a late bloomer...when the girls in my Catholic  high school boarding school would get demerits for smoking or sneaking off campus to see boyfriends, I'd get them for reading horse stories under the blankets with a flashlight.

I was very immature. I didn't blossom until my first 2 kids, my sons, were born. I loved being a mother - I grew up with my 2 boys...I started college at 40 - when my oldest son went to college, I did too.

I didn't trust anybody because of my experience of growing up.

I  see differently - have a broader vision - which is an opening to possibilities. If there's something to disagree about - I see it another way - I don't see things in black and white - I never did...that has always made me feel different. 

This way of seeing goes into spiritual things, too - sometimes I feel like no one sees as I do, but that's ok.

As an example of my Square-Pegness...when I was learning perspective (in art) I had an art teacher/nun...she saw things as they are supposed to be, but I saw them as they could be. She gave me a D and told me that I didn't have any ability. I believed her for a long time.

I've always been empathic and intuitive...much more sensitive than other children in my family...even as a little girl I'd wonder what's wrong with me, I'd see and hear things other people didn't see or hear. I had a spiritual experience, an encounter with the Goddess as Mary at an early age - when I told about it my aunt patted me on the head and said "she has such an imagination".

The spiritual thing has been the hardest - women's sprituality. {There is} the male energy thing - no obvious recognition of the feminine divine. I go to church and feel that the energy is good regardless of who is praying or praising, or {whether they call the divine} "him" or Her.

I used to try to be the perfect "pastor's wife" (Luna's husband is a Lutheran pastor) - do all the things you're expect you to do. I was miserable!

...My daughter awakened the feminine within me - wanting her to love herself, stand on her own. She is lovely, kind and compassionate, and strong.

...I felt the call of the Goddess about the time I went back to college - when living in Minnesota - in a Scandinavian Lutheran community - there was not alot of goddess stuff going on, and I wasn't sure what it was I was looking for. When I read Starhawk's book Spiral Dance and other women's spirituality books I felt like I had "come home". That's what it was like for me, coming home into the arms of a loving mother.

I didn't have small statues of Goddess at the time, but I did put up items that were meaningful to me and the Sacred Feminine I had become reacquainted with, but nothing obvious, thank goodness everybody likes stars and moons {laugh}.

{laughing} I was mad at "Dad"  (God as I'd been taught HE was) so I went to mom (Goddess) - I'm starting to use both now - I see a Mother/Father Deity, a Spirit much bigger than the boxes we try to put Deity into to define/control/understand.

When I was on the journey to feminine spirituality I was asked to speak at a luncheon for church women in Tom's {Luna's husband} small country parish. So I started studying about the women in the Bible. I put my own spin on things in the telling and interpretation of the stories, the women liked that... I was drawn to strong women, or women who were "Square-Pegs" in their times because of their circumstances. It was babysteps on the journey to know Goddess, and for about 15 years I've worshipped The Goddess as well as God. My path is probably best described as being a ChristaPagan.

This may be the most difficult things about my Square-Peg life. If I try to shut down the empathic part when I get too weary and feel soul-battered I feel lost and numb, or the pain still seeps through. The result is that I then usually experience a low grade depression. The difficult part is maintaining a balance between mindfulness and distancing, being present and setting appropriate emotional boundaries. Few people understand what life can be like for an empathic person. They either ridicule or romanticize them, or confuse it with psychics and mediums or dismiss it as "new age hooey" or "crazy".

...being empathic is something that contributes to my Square-Peggedness...

I think that for most Square-Pegs, having the things that make us uniquely "me" discounted or minimized is painful and difficult. But I think that the empathic thing is a gift and it keeps my heart tender and open, the tenderness and openess is often what makes my work with difficult clients so successful. It also comes through in my art work.

So difficulty or blessing, I hope I have the ability always, the trick is realizing when I need to retreat inside a cocoon for a little bit to replenish my energy and do some self-care.

Cocooning comes in - getting quiet. Everybody needs to rest - a Sabbath or mental health day. My art helps me.

Who I am comes out in my art...my art is how I maintain who I am.

My ideas about what is art, and what art must look at have changed...more often than not my art happens when I'm trying to create something different. I've heard someone call it "happy accidents". That may be a metaphor for life as well.  I love the John Lennon quote: "Life is what happens when you had other plans."

I get a lot of support online - like-minded people that I don't find in my community - art friends.

...spirituality is woven through - it's part of  my whole life. Also, accepting people where they are at.

It's important to LIVE - mindfulness, awareness...

My quirky sense of humor - it's one of my biggest strengths. I don't take myself seriously...it's a survival tool.

Also, my ability to find something positive in anything.

Secret Life of Bees and Dance of the Dissident Daughter, both by Sue Monk Kidd

Starhawk's Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Goddess (which has been very influential to me for the last 15 yrs)

any poetry, especially Rumi and Emily Dickinson.