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Self-Esteem
by Erin of Homemomma.com
What exactly is "self-esteem?" Nathaniel Branden, Ph.D., a well known psychotherapist, defined self-esteem as: "Confidence in our ability to think and in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life; and confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feelings of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values and enjoy the fruits of our efforts." "A mother who radiates self-love and acceptance actually vaccinates her daughter against low self-esteem." ~Naomi Wolf Let's face it, as sad as it may seem, our society equates self-worth with earnings. It's hard not to cringe a little when someone asks, "so what do you do for a living?" There is a real sense that others just don't understand our "career" choice. The role of "mother" is completely undervalued in our society. "It is one thing if women work, as many of them must, to help support the family. It is quite another thing --it is destructive of woman's freedom -- if society forces her out of the home and into the labor market in order that she may respect herself and gain the respect of others." Agnes E. Meyer (1887-1970), U.S. journalist. Out of These Roots, ch. 16 (1953). Volunteer for a good cause. Helping people can really make you feel good about yourself. To find a volunteer opportunity in your area that's just right for you, check out: http:www.volunteermatch.org/
Take note of your strengths, literally. Make a list of all of the things you are good at or that you like about yourself. Include positive things that other people have told you, as well. Add at least one more item to the list everyday and read it throughout the day--post it on your bathroom mirror so you can't forget.
Assess the influences in your life. Do you have a girlfriend or a relative who is unjustly criticizing you and causing you to doubt your abilities? Distance yourself from those people if you can, or at the very least, tell yourself that you will not let their comments bring you down.
Act confident and proud. Hold your head up high and speak with conviction when you tell people that you are a stay-at-home mom. Yours is THE most important job in the world...say it like you mean it!
Cut yourself some slack! Don't try to be a supermom or a June Cleaver. Be the best mom you can be. If the laundry piles up or the kids don't know all of their colors and shapes before their second birthday like Junior across the street, it's okay!
© 2006 Homemomma.com
Major life events that seem to turn our world upside-down can affect self esteem...divorce, death of a loved one, motherhood and major career moves. Many stay-at-home moms go from being a successful, in-charge career woman to an inexperienced mommy (why don't babies come with an owners manual?) and full-time "homemaker." The word "homemaker" today conjures up visions of subservient 1950's wives like June Cleaver. It has a negative connotation in today's society, particularly for women. Being identified as a homemaker and feeling the loss of identity with such a major career move can pull us into a self-esteem tailspin.
Throw in the isolation, loneliness, and a less than healthy post-baby body image we often feel, and you've got the makings of some serious self-esteem issues!
The key to improving self-esteem is realizing and believing that you have the power to change it! Here are a few tips to get you on your way:
If you're a SAHM or have a daughter, niece or friend who is - please pass along the
Homemomma.com
url. It's filled with helpful info!