The spiritual thing has been the hardest - women's sprituality. {There is} the male energy thing - no obvious recognition of the feminine divine. I go to church and feel that the energy is good regardless of who is praying or praising, or {whether they call the divine} "him" or Her.

I used to try to be the perfect "pastor's wife" {Luna's husband is a Lutheran pastor} - do all the things you're expect you to do. I was miserable!

...My daughter awakened the feminine within me - wanting her to love herself, stand on her own. She is lovely, kind and compassionate, and strong.

Luna spoke about how she began to work through this struggle...

...I felt the call of the Goddess about the time I went back to college - when living in Minnesota - in a Scandinavian Lutheran community - there was not alot of goddess stuff going on, and I wasn't sure what it was I was looking for. When I read Starhawk's book Spiral Dance and other women's spirituality books I felt like I had "come home". That's what it was like for me, coming home into the arms of a loving mother.

I didn't have small statues of Goddess at the time, but I did put up items that were meaningful to me and the Sacred Feminine I had become reacquainted with, but nothing obvious, thank goodness everybody likes stars and moons {laugh}.

{laughing} I was mad at "Dad" (God as I'd been taught HE was) so I went to mom (Goddess) - I'm starting to use both now - I see a Mother/Father Deity, a Spirit much bigger than the boxes we try to put Deity into to define/control/understand.

When I was on the journey to feminine spirituality I was asked to speak at a luncheon for church women in Tom's {Luna's husband} small country parish. So I started studying about the women in the Bible. I put my own spin on things in the telling and interpretation of the stories, the women liked that... I was drawn to strong women, or women who were "Square-Pegs" in their times because of their circumstances. It was babysteps on the journey to know Goddess, and for about 15 years I've worshipped The Goddess as well as God. My path is probably best described as being a ChristaPagan.

Luna and I also talked about being empathetic and empathic, she mentioned...

This may be the most difficult things about my Square-Peg life. If I try to shut down the empathic part when I get too weary and feel soul-battered I feel lost and numb, or the pain still seeps through. The result is that I then usually experience a low grade depression. The difficult part is maintaining a balance between mindfulness and distancing, being present and setting appropriate emotional boundaries. Few people understand what life can be like for an empathic person. They either ridicule or romanticize them, or confuse it with psychics and mediums or dismiss it as "new age hooey" or "crazy".

...being empathic is something that contributes to my Square-Peggedness...

I think that for most Square-Pegs, having the things that make us uniquely "me" discounted or minimized is painful and difficult. But I think that the empathic thing is a gift and it keeps my heart tender and open, the tenderness and openess is often what makes my work with difficult clients so successful. It also comes through in my art work.

So difficulty or blessing, I hope I have the ability always, the trick is realizing when I need to retreat inside a cocoon for a little bit to replenish my energy and do some self-care.

Cocooning comes in - getting quiet. Everybody needs to rest - a Sabbath or mental health day. My art helps me.

Who I am comes out in my art...my art is how I maintain who I am.

Read more...

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Square-Peg-Stacks

Review of Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D.'s Urgent Message From Mother.

Where to start in describing Urgent Message From Mother? This book has lots of historically recent facts; the whens, wheres and hows of women - in grassroots groupings - making HUGE differences. Part inspiration and encouragement, part fact and teaching, part how-to planning guide, it's a call to unity and peace-making, a declaration of the right to Peace - for children everywhere!

This book touches me personally. I hear the news about war - and more war - and imagine my dear grand-daughter living in a war-torn country. What precious parts of herself would she have to shut down just to sleep at night? How would the trauma affect her for the rest of her life?

When I watch the news (which I rarely do), I see my grand-daughter's face superimposed on the faces of the children who are using their strength to survive (not live) in the unnatural drama of war.

I cannot tell myself that these children deserve less than my grand-daughter. I cannot tell myself that they do not matter. Or that some ideology (or worse, some financial gain) is more important than their lives - and the quality of their lives. They are my grand-children too. We are all family!

Though the book is subtitled: "Gather the Women, Save the World", it does not disparage men. Bolen says: "This is not about replacing patriarchy with matriarchy".

It does speak of differences between men and women, and says that men have had the power to make (or stop) war for long enough - that it is time for balance - for women not "allied" with patriarchy - "mother" women to take a stand.

Jean Shinoda Bolen quotes a definition of "mother/motherhood" from Indian spiritual leader, Amma: "It is not restricted to women who have given birth; it is a principle inherent in both women and men. It is an attitude of the mind. It is love---and that love is the very breath of life".

Bolen says:

Women are experienced in looking after the children and fragile elders, cleaning up, setting the house in order, being frugal with resources, putting food on the table, maintaining peace in the family, and staying on good terms with the neighbors. These are the same tasks that need doing in the community, and on a national and planetary scale. The world needs what women can do. The world needs "mother" to set things right in our unbalanced world.

She says that differences found (in UCLA research) between men and women, in reaction to stress, include the fact that women "protected and nurtured their young, and sought social contact and support from others, especially other females" while men "...had an increase in adrenaline...that prepares their bodies to run or to stay and fight".

Bolen states: "Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen says that the essential difference is that women are natural empathizers, while men are better at systematizing".

The traits and intelligences of both men and women need to be part of the decisions affecting our future. As Bolen states: "Until women are really involved in what goes on in the world, essential information and crucial concerns are not brought to the table".

Bolen says: "For peace to become a reality, women have to gather together, learn from each other, and then work with men toward ending violence as a means of winning arguments or gaining power--in households or in the world".

Bolen offers a 3-chapter section, which she says is to "...inform and inspire you and tell you how women individually and together are the antidote to the state of mind that has put us all and Mother Earth in harm's way". In the first of three chapters, "The Visible Power of Women", Bolen lists and describes these "antidotes". They give a feeling of hope - of belief that we can bring about change.
Continue reading...

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Looking Ahead

We're still working on polishing the e-course Square-Peg Celebration! and those Square-Peg mugs and shirts. Look for a notice soon! We'll be offering Encourager readers a sneak peak and a special - one week only - Encourager readers price.

Next month's interview is with Anne Marie Bennett, founder of KaleidoSoul.com , the SoulCollage® Playground! Anne Marie has offered Encourager readers an added treat - she's going to share her "Fall In Love With Yourself With SoulCollage" article in the newsletter!

Don't forget to register for the "This is not my real body!" telecall - reserve your spot now!

Happy end of summer!!