Interview with Tina M. Marks Shirley

Tina M. Marks Shirley calls herself a "corporate refugee". In 2003 Tina was nominated for the Charles County Chamber of Commerce Working Woman of the Year Award.

She left the corporate world this past January (2006) - to devote herself to writing - and has already had work published in numerous places. She's also establishing herself as a seminar leader.

This woman has lots of energy! Besides writing, photographing, doing seminars and taking care of her pets and family she also teaches yoga several times per week.

I've always felt that way (Square-Peg) - even in my 20's. I'm an observer - a quiet introvert...I'm non-elitist, not competitive and I don't like confinement.

I like to think of myself as a "corporate refugee" - dropped out January 1st of this year (2006). I would go to upscale board meetings and the whole time I'd be gazing out the window...it got worse over the years - I'd cover minute books with blurbs and drawings. I'd go to transcribe my notes and find it was all doodles.

Now I'm spending time getting to know myself - know where my gifts are - getting to know me - what I enjoy and what I'm gifted at...I look for "doors" - ways to use my talents to help others.

I live in a Square-Peg household - no doubt. My husband is a musician and Square-Peg - he's really an octagon peg...My daughter is artsy - creative. Her stuff is different, not the "norm", and I'm glad she turned out that way...

In my Yoga and Reiki trainings I became more awake. The more awake you are, the more attuned your senses are. It's like suddenly being able to hear after being deaf your whole life - very, very exciting but...the volume can be - well, deafening at times! Painful. Sometimes it's tempting to go back to being numb. It's hard to open your heart when it's bleeding - when you want to shrink up.

Someone I worked with gave me a card with words by Maya Angelou, it said: "Survival is important. Thriving is elegant." I had it for awhile, hung it on my bulletin board, looked at it everyday, then it dawned on me - I was doing a good job surviving, but I didn't want to just survive anymore. I wanted dignity and grace - I wanted "elegant".

I couldn't when drowning in rules and measurements, which is how the corporate world felt to me - I felt exhausted by it.

A huge turning point was when I started developing a plan. I knew what I had to do - I had a vision of where I wanted to go. The vision was my fuel for life - it kept me. I made a plan and didn't lose sight of it.

Part of Tina's plan involved practical planning - and part of it involved continuing reflection on who she was - what she wanted - what would make her Square-Peg heart shine:

...I realized i was very, very successful at something I never aspired to be. I started to wonder "how well can I do at something I love?"

I used to write during lunch hours on a bench with my face toward the sun...I also have particular areas I want to pursue. Like women's networking. I'm finding more and more (especially for Square-Peg women) - women need other women.

My main goal is to touch people - and help them in some way - energy healing, yoga, writing, taking photographs.

I stay in a circle of light - a small "tribe" - I make a point to surround myself with other Square-Pegs - others who share some of my philosophies...I tell myself - this is who I am, I'm not going to act. I embrace myself figuratively and literally - hug myself before getting out of bed and teach my yoga students that, too.

I like to engage in simple pleasures - like enjoying beauty - and sitting with my dog - with my hand on his heart. I'm trying to treat myself as my best friend.

I'm very comfortable in my world, but it is tough "out there" - it can be hard to stand in Square-Pegness. I'm learning that an ember can be just as intriguing as a flame - I live as an ember. I don't have to be out there full force in the world to make a mark. I let my little light shine. I have to be ok with that.

...many people pay attention to things like hair - what the other is wearing, but I see people only as hearts - as exposed hearts. I mean that literally and figuratively. I feel blessed to have that gift. I wish and hope that people will see me as an exposed heart - my heart - it's my favorite...Square-Peg trait.

To me, Tina's awareness of herself is the biggest "lesson" I take from her. It sounds like Tina felt burned out in her corporate job. She allowed herself to feel her dissatisfaction, to notice it. So often we (me!) keep pushing ahead - figuring all we need is a kick in the butt - or some bootstrap pulling - and we'll be ok - when really we need to let disappointment sink in - and realize that we need a whole change in direction.

Tina did that - she let herself feel her lack of alignment with the corporate world - and then she did something about it.

HOW she made her change in direction is another "lesson" that I get from Tina. She didn't leap from one situation to another in her first moment of awareness. She reflected - began to (and continues to) consider what was "missing". Tina looked for the path that called to her. She wasn't running from something - she was moving toward something - big difference! And she did this while also making a plan for the financial/practical change-over.

Tina fuels and refuels herself. Part of this is done by the reflecting, mentioned above. Part of it is done by noticing and enjoying simple things - in the interview she mentioned spending time with her dog. In her article "Water Inside, Water Outside, Water from the Inside Out" she talks about using water to soothe.

Simplicity, Awareness, Reflection - one leads to the other, in a spiral dance of alignment. Thanks, Tina - I'll try to remember those! And speaking of dance - Tina does Yoga everyday - she is in her body every day - which helps with all three of the "lessons" above.

Interview with Tina M Marks Shirley