Brenda Delaney
Artist, "Artsea Mama"
The first thing I want to share with you will, I think, give you a good idea of what Brenda is like (In Brenda's own words):
I emailed my resume yesterday and the guy wanted to see me today! So - I needed a hard copy of my resume and usually print it on pale, pale pink paper. But I thought - screw this - BRIGHT PINK!
Then I was chatting with Nancy...and she said "too bad it wasn't glittery", so I got out my iridescent glitter and put some on there!
I told the guy that if he didn't like pink and glitter he wouldn't like ME! He proceeded to tell me that his wife is also a crow (loves shiny things) and his daughter is in Italy on an exchange program and LIVES in pink! So I was ok by him..
I accepted the position and did the paperwork, and left there... and just a few minutes ago I got a call from a vp in the company, they would like to meet with me in the a.m. to PICK MY BRAIN.
They loved some of my ideas already - who me?...and the marketing coordinator asked me to bring in my jewelry, she loved what i was wearing...wow----------------
How's that for a testament to the wonders of being your own Square-Peg self - even in the business world?
Brenda told this story online, to the women who had attended the Artella retreat and SO many of us were inspired and encouraged.
Brenda describes herself as a "funky, eclectic
artist". Brenda's art creations currently include jewelry and muslin dolls.
How Do You See Yourself as a Square-Peg?
I speak out more than most. When I feel something...I feel with my heart. When other people are thinking -I speak it out. I get in alot of trouble that way. It's funny - I've found that people, in their heart, wish they could speak out. But I go there and feel that I shouldn't. I'm different.
One way that I am different is my hair. I do my hair big and wild! If everyone else had slicked down hair, I'd still have the puff ball going on -- that's me...and Dolly Parton.
What's Been the Hardest For You as a Square-Peg?
And finding friends is the worst. I would love to find friends who love the same things I do. Especially since I live in the south. Around me the social groups are all connected to churches - and I'm not. I couldn't believe (at the 2005 Artella retreat) that there were that many people like me. I felt so much like I could be ME - nobody would judge me.
Another hard time was when I didn't do art for years. I always wanted to be an artist, but I had a teacher who told me that I couldn't be - I was "working way too hard" at it. I gave up making art then.
I taught a little arts and crafts, but that was all. Then I got into a doll-making class 14 years ago. I didn't know what I was doing - and the others were making fun of me because my machine was going so fast - but I loved making dolls. And I even sold the first doll I made.
How Do You Maintain Your Square-Pegness (in a round-hole world)?
I love that I do my own thing and I've never been tempted to stray. When I'm alone I'm fine - I love me.
I have to fight to stay me - my husband is very conservative. Once I bought a Mary Frances purse for a black-tie event we were going to. I asked him how he liked it and he told me that I looked like Minnie Pearl. I was hurt.
It was a piece of art, but he didn't see it that way. Now I've learned not to ask him if he likes something. Instead I say: "Is this me?"
Brenda changed the way she asks her husband for input. How's that for dealing with someone not understanding or appreciating something?
Brenda came up with a way that gives her feedback, but also makes sure she doesn't get hurt. AND the new way respects the fact that her husband may not have the same taste she does.
Everybody wins!
What Square-Peg Trait are You Most Proud Of?
What are Your Favorite Books?
What Can a Square-Peg Learn From Brenda?
The biggest thing I got from interviewing Brenda was an appreciation of how we have the power to set up interactions so that they work for us. I can imagine myself in the position Brenda was in - being very excited with a "find" and wanting to share that with someone.
A negative response would hurt my feelings. I can also imagine what my inner response would be (and also my external response, if I was in a particularly dark mood):
"Moron! See if I ever show you anything again. What an ass." Obviously a big distancer.
I didn't ask Brenda whether she had any feelings like that - and then worked through them - or whether she knew right away how to take care of herself. But I love how she did it - whatever the process was.
Brenda took control of the situation and set it up so it works in her favor. And made it seem easy. And I find myself asking - where can I do that in my own life?
I'm also thinking about Brenda's capacity to "make something out of nothing". That might be a gift she has - a level of talent that I won't ever get very close to.
But - being the kind of person who wants ALL the "stuff" - new stuff at that - before setting down to an art project - I'm trying to let Brenda's message influence me. Maybe there's a lot more I can do with just what I have. Maybe it'd be fun to try that out.
Then there's Brenda's willingness to be who she is. You can see from her picture (above) that Brenda is a woman who loves pink. And, like I mentioned - she sparkles like a holiday ornament.
She went to her job interview with a sparkly pink resume - that's
the first time I've heard of anyone doing something like that. And she got the
job! Being openly and awesomely the Square-Peg person you are looks pretty
powerful, doesn't it?
Brenda's Favorite Books:
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Interview originally appeared in the December 2006 issue of Square-Peg-People's Encourager newsletter.