Debra Schanilec
Motivational Writer
She is a grounded visionary - a woman able to balance the world of imagination necessary for ideas and dreams, with the planning and practicality needed to bring the dreams to life.
Debra has a dream, expressed in the motto of her website, of assisting people to: "Reach for what resonates. Dabble until you come alive. Shine, so that others may find their way."
She's had other dreams too. As a young woman, after a brief stay in Europe, Debra longed to return to Italy. Four years later she was there - teaching. During the wait she took a year of Italian in college - an example of dreams and plans combined.
Debra also has a vision for the future - in an exercise she did during a dream-building retreat in 1993 she was prompted to:
...visualize where my dreams might take me. I was 80,
looking at - and living in - a community I had physically created - looking out
at the people in it...the legacy I'd left.
How Do You See Yourself as a Square-Peg?
I have always felt different from other people.
Debra says that, when younger as I remember it, I looked for things to do differently. Then, after I was on that path, I became different... grew up feeling out of place because of (my) choices.
Some of the choices Debra made were:
...and had my senior photo taken out in the country...I was into photography and wanted something different.
And, in a non-reflective culture, she:
I grew up in a a small midwestern town, knowing there was more for me out there, just not quite sure what that was.
...resonating with things that the contemporary culture doesn't...things the contemporary culture might not feel are safe to do.
What Has Been the Hardest For You as a Square-Peg?
...at 19 I was stuck, small-town-itis making my skin crawl. I got pregnant, had an abortion...was drastically unhappy.
Debra says that her hardest times now are
Those lapses when someone in the mainstream says something or has some reaction,
when I forget who I am. When I get stuck, taken by surprise and don't have
reminders or strategies ready.
How Do You Maintain Your Square-Pegness (in a round-hole world)?
Square-Pegs are, maybe, more enlightened than people who aren't Square-Pegs. I feel that questions come earlier for Square-Pegs, the big ones, like: Is that all there is?
I now realize that certain things have to be put in place - I watch out for negativity.
She talked about computer toys she has in her office as reminders: If I don't look for play I can get stuck in a funk.
She said that her inner child, a 7 year old:
...sometimes takes over - looking for approval from parents - that she won't ever get...when I give her situations where she can play - it's fine.
Debra has begun to read through the journals she wrote as a young woman
...to look for attitudes, strategies to honor that got me through the hard times, inklings of future wisdom.
She's also learned how to distinguish real excitement about an idea or a person from:
If I am sooooooo excited, there is usually some element of longing for temporary escape. Abraham Hicks says something this - about when you're on the path, how do you know something is right? It feels like it's the next logical step.
Debra navigates the round-hole world with a spirit of independence and adventure. She told me a story that illustrates this, and shows that her adventurousness started early.
I decided to go to the shopping center where my dad was at work in a pharmacy, which was far enough for a five year old to walk but also necessitated crossing a very busy four-lane road with no crosswalk. My father phoned my mother upon my arrival and asked for her to guess who was visiting him...
...that incident, feeling strong and independent, that knowing and navigating in me has kept me afloat to this day.
What is Your Favorite Square-Peg Trait?
Willingness to try something no one else would.
Debra gave the example of her job. She mentioned that, 5 years ago, at the age of 40, she
Currently, Debra does administration work for IT's, and said that initially she questioned taking a non-teaching job, but learned
What a Square-Peg Can Learn From Debra?
I take things more seriously and yet lighter at the same time because of getting to know Debra.
Her grounding - being able to dream and connecting it to a plan amazes me. I'm a head in the clouds type person - liable to fall into a hole - not paying attention to what's beneath my feet. Knowing Debra stretches me - connects me to both sky (dreams) and earth (plans and practicality).
Find out what Debra's up to by visiting her blog.
Interview originally appeared in the August 2005 issue of
Square-Peg-People's Encourager newsletter.