newsletter0803

the

Encourager

be inspired......be encouraged.....be YOU!

What is REAL? Volume 3, Issue #7
What's New? It's much quieter around here with Little Princess only visiting a couple times a month (what wonderful times they are - sleepovers and teaparties and fun! fun! fun!). You can see a picture of us having a tea party on a recent blog post called "With just a few words." With all that free time we've been cooking up lots of great ideas and plans here for Square-Peg-People.com. Karen has been hard at work on articles related to grief and grieving. Most will show up soon on the "Dealing with Grief" pages, but will first be available	for viewing on the new grief blog (see box below). So what is REAL? A couple friends and I have been discussing this frequently. One thing we keep coming back to is - being REAL is the opposite of being perfect. Not that we could be perfect, but there seems to be - at times - a tremendous undertow pulling us toward pretending to be walking a smoother path than we actually are on. That's where our review of the book The Velveteen Principles comes in. The Velveteen Principles' author, Toni Raiten-D'Antonio, talks openly about the struggles of being REAL.	Her book offers us encouragement to keep aiming for REAL. And we're trying. We've included one of Karen's bizarrely REAL blog posts in this month's newsletter. We'd love to hear your thoughts!! This month: What's New? "Do Not Go Near the Door" Stacks Review: The Velveteen Principles Looking Ahead

New blog for grievers
(A Square-Peg Heart: Grace for the grieving)

Karen's grief articles can also be seen at Heather Blakey's Solace Temple.

A Square Peg Reflection

Do NOT Go Near the Door!

Here are some of the books currently on Karen's nightstand (um...floor - she is NOT tidy):

Visit Square-Peg Reflections
often

for more Square-Peg musings!

Hey YOU! - so glad you're here!!
Don't forget to visit us at Square-Peg-People.com

(Excerpt from post published March 15, 2008 on the Square-Peg Reflections blog.)
Leaving Izzy and Moe's deli today Slightly British Daughter said, as I exited through the door with the sign reading "Entrance": "You ought to write a blog post about always going out the wrong door!" (She'll say there was no explanation point there!!)
Let me tell you some of my door stories...
Besides going out and/or in the wrong door frequently, I have other issues with doors - they seem to cause me problems.
One of my favorite, and most pathetic door stories, involves a time when I had been waiting for a friend to pick me up. My girls were little, my son hadn't been thought of yet. I was a stay-at-home mom who rarely got out. And I was anxious. Oooooh, I was going to have an outing.
I got dressed (in something nicer than my "uniform" of ripped jeans and flannel shirt) and probably even took the time to put on mascara. Way back then I didn't need the whole 15-point paste and polish that I currently feel obliged to go through before going out.

When I heard my friend pull her car into the driveway I went running for the door. I don't know what happened next - was it a momentary lapse of good sense? Did I suddenly get it into my head that I was part gazelle?
Whatever the reason (or lack thereof), as I ran toward the door, I leapt over the large (30" x 24" and around 16" high) ottoman in the middle of the room.
OK, I didn't really leap - I attempted to leap. When I think of that wannabe leap I remember a grand jete type (see picture) move.
Obviously something rather different happened, because I wound up (on the other side of the ottoman at least) face down with my butt and legs in the air. I never was particularly coordinated, which is why I really question what possessed me to think I could take flight.
My girls witnessed this and still remember me getting up growling: "Go ahead! Laugh!"
Read the rest of Karen's door mishaps!

Square-Peg Stacks

Square-Peg Sidenotes:

You've noticed, right? We've been messing with the format and frequency of The Encourager
We would LOVE to get some input from YOU!!
What do you like best about The Encourager? AND What would you like to see change?
Drop us a line using our "Contact" form answering both questions. We'll randomly choose one of the entries and send that person a complimentary copy of the"Time for Support" exercise!! The winner will be announced in the April newsletter.

Remember! when you buy books from our Amazon affiliate links, you are supporting Square-Peg-People.com without spending a cent more!

Excerpts from Square-Peg-People's review of The Velveteen Princples: A Guide to Becoming Real by Toni Raiten-D'Antonio:
The Velveteen Principles is based
on The Velveteen Rabbit, a classic in children's literature, which tells the story of a stuffed rabbit and his growing understanding of what is and isn't important in life; and his learning how to be Real...
In this book author Toni Raiten-D'Antonio (who is also a psychotherapist and professor) starts by telling us something powerful about the effects of not being Real:
"...I've come to believe that the major cause of addiction, depression, anxiety, even obsessions and compulsions, is the loss of empathy for our Real selves."
Toni tells us that "Once we accept the pervasive messages of the Object culture, once we believe that we should be perfect, we start to feel shamefully inadequate."
We often think that what is required of us is some form of perfection.
One of the sweetest things in the book is the reminder that:
"...in a life well-lived, where we are true to ourselves, all the struggles and challenges only make us more Real and more loveable. Others can see this quality in us, and make us even more Real with their love and nurturing."
Luckily, Toni has ideas for us about reconnecting with the Real ...
The Velveteen Rabbit has always touched my heart. The characters have stayed with me. I've always wanted to be that very Real rabbit!
At the end of the book Toni offers us this encouragement to work toward being Real:
"If you become more Real in your own life and bring that to your relationships, you are practically guaranteed to leave behind an inspiring example for other. Your life's message will encourage everyone you touch to live with a sense of wonder, curiosity, and openness, rather than cynicism and fear. It will say. "I was Real. And you can be Real, too."
Read the full review...

Look WHO we love to visit!
My good friend Wendy's new blog bada BLING! (an artist's musings on the pursuit of an authentic life). AND her Off-The-Cuff Collage (Minimum Supplies, Minimum Time...Maximum Bling!) blog. Wendy is awesome
and she's been part of the Square-Peg Tribe since day one!
We love to visit Jean, at Cheerful Monk (Devoted to Happiness As a Spiritual Practice), she's got great thought-provoking posts!
This wonderful Square-Peg GUY - yes, a man - and an engineer - found us by accident and was happy to find other Pegs online. Go say "Hi" at Thoughts of a Square Peg on a Round Hole World.
And then, last but certainly NOT least - the Big Friendly Giant, Yo! - who offers web and graphic design. He says (with a big smile, I just know!): "The web is a better place when you've got a giant on your side." His bfg-productions is a division of Mazuzu.com (which you need to see to appreciate) - they've got awesome tutorials!!

Looking Ahead
Woo hoo! And Hurrah! We're going to have a telecall on April 23rd at 7:30PM (Eastern). It's been over a year since our last get-together and we are excited!!
The theme of the call will be Body Image - an excellent topic with Spring (in the U.S.) upon us. Click on the Contact Form link here and let us know you'd like to be part of the call. We'll get back to you with the phone number and more particulars about the call.
(The call is fr*e, with the exception of your own long-distance charges).
Looking ahead at the April Encourager we've got a real treat for you. We've got an interview with Whidbey Island's own Wendy Lee Lynds!!

Karen
and the wondrous Square-Peg staff
Got Spring Fever?
You know, where you feel like moving in a new direction
but you aren't real sure where to go or how to get there.

Square-Peg's
"Women Under Construction" e-course will get you headed in
YOUR own (that's vital)
just-right direction before you know it!

karen has a gentle way about her that makes you feel very comfortable and non-threatened...i applaud her for offering this opportunity to women!

Terri St.Cloud

Click on the e-course cover (pictured above) to read more about the course.

I love how you take the metaphor of construction and use all the different parts as ways of getting us to look at ourselves differently...And then I love how practical you made it...Masterful!

Jenny Ryan

SITE
SQUARE-PEG-PEOPLE.COM
BLOG
SQUARE-PEG REFLECTIONS
CONTACT US
HERE

Do NOT Go Near the Door!		Here are some of the books currently on Karen's nightstand (um...floor - she is NOT tidy): Visit Square-Peg Reflections often for more Square-Peg musings! Hey YOU! - so glad you're here!! Don't forget to visit us at Square-Peg-People.com
(Excerpt from post published March 15, 2008 on the Square-Peg Reflections blog.) Leaving Izzy and Moe's deli today Slightly British Daughter said, as I exited through the door with the sign reading "Entrance": "You ought to write a blog post about always going out the wrong door!" (She'll say there was no explanation point there!!) Let me tell you some of my door stories... Besides going out and/or in the wrong door frequently, I have other issues with doors - they seem to cause me problems. One of my favorite, and most pathetic door stories, involves a time when I had been waiting for a friend to pick me up. My girls were little, my son hadn't been thought of yet. I was a stay-at-home mom who rarely got out. And I was anxious. Oooooh, I was going to have an outing. I got dressed (in something nicer than my "uniform" of ripped jeans and flannel shirt) and probably even took the time to put on mascara. Way back then I didn't need the whole 15-point paste and polish that I currently feel obliged to go through before going out.	When I heard my friend pull her car into the driveway I went running for the door. I don't know what happened next - was it a momentary lapse of good sense? Did I suddenly get it into my head that I was part gazelle? Whatever the reason (or lack thereof), as I ran toward the door, I leapt over the large (30" x 24" and around 16" high) ottoman in the middle of the room. OK, I didn't really leap - I attempted to leap. When I think of that wannabe leap I remember a grand jete type (see picture) move. Obviously something rather different happened, because I wound up (on the other side of the ottoman at least) face down with my butt and legs in the air. I never was particularly coordinated, which is why I really question what possessed me to think I could take flight. My girls witnessed this and still remember me getting up growling: "Go ahead! Laugh!" Read the rest of Karen's door mishaps!

		Square-Peg Sidenotes: You've noticed, right? We've been messing with the format and frequency of The Encourager We would LOVE to get some input from YOU!! What do you like best about The Encourager? AND What would you like to see change? Drop us a line using our "Contact" form answering both questions. We'll randomly choose one of the entries and send that person a complimentary copy of the"Time for Support" exercise!! The winner will be announced in the April newsletter. Remember! when you buy books from our Amazon affiliate links, you are supporting Square-Peg-People.com without spending a cent more!
Excerpts from Square-Peg-People's review of The Velveteen Princples: A Guide to Becoming Real by Toni Raiten-D'Antonio: The Velveteen Principles is based on The Velveteen Rabbit, a classic in children's literature, which tells the story of a stuffed rabbit and his growing understanding of what is and isn't important in life; and his learning how to be Real... In this book author Toni Raiten-D'Antonio (who is also a psychotherapist and professor) starts by telling us something powerful about the effects of not being Real: "...I've come to believe that the major cause of addiction, depression, anxiety, even obsessions and compulsions, is the loss of empathy for our Real selves." Toni tells us that "Once we accept the pervasive messages of the Object culture, once we believe that we should be perfect, we start to feel shamefully inadequate." We often think that what is required of us is some form of perfection.	One of the sweetest things in the book is the reminder that: "...in a life well-lived, where we are true to ourselves, all the struggles and challenges only make us more Real and more loveable. Others can see this quality in us, and make us even more Real with their love and nurturing." Luckily, Toni has ideas for us about reconnecting with the Real ... The Velveteen Rabbit has always touched my heart. The characters have stayed with me. I've always wanted to be that very Real rabbit! At the end of the book Toni offers us this encouragement to work toward being Real: "If you become more Real in your own life and bring that to your relationships, you are practically guaranteed to leave behind an inspiring example for other. Your life's message will encourage everyone you touch to live with a sense of wonder, curiosity, and openness, rather than cynicism and fear. It will say. "I was Real. And you can be Real, too." Read the full review...